It’s almost innate really. When we search for a person we can fall in love with, we always try to hold them to a certain rubric. We have a checklist in our heads for the kind of people we want to date; the kind of people we could potentially end up spending the rest of our lives with.
A lot of people who are in mature relationships will know that a mere physical attraction is not enough to be able to build love. For sure, it’s a great thing to have in a relationship, but it’s not the only thing to factor into the equation. Physical attraction is only one side of the coin. It’s not enough to tell the whole story.
And as we go deeper into thinking about the people we fall in love with, we also understand that we don’t necessarily have to be dating a person whose personality is an exact carbon copy of ours. We grow to learn that there is always room for a few differences in our relationship. This is why a lot of people will have so much trouble trying to figure out if they are meant to be with someone.
There is just so much room for adjustment and by extension, so much room for error. But to try to put things simply, love is really a conscious choice that people have to make every single day that they’re with someone. It’s not a choice in the sense that you can force yourself to just fall in love with practically any person you’re going to see.
But it’s a choice in the sense that not everything is going to be perfect with how you fall in love with that person, and you are going to have to choose to love this person despite the many flaws and imperfections that may surround your love affair. It’s all about meeting that one person you are willing to endure a million struggles with because you know that at the end of the day, your love is always going to be worth it. It’s all about picking that one person you want to stand with for the rest of your life as you face the many challenges that life may have in store for you.
So granted, we have a lot of work ahead of us as far as finding the one is concerned. The work is real, tangible, and exhausting. Don’t let yourself fall under the delusion that love is going to be simple, easy, and effortless. It rarely ever is the case. Love is always something that you continuously have to work at once you get it. And even then, not even all the effort in the world is going to guarantee you the kind of success that you expect to get. And so you have to take your chances and pick your spots wisely. You have to be making your emotional investments in people and in relationships that actually have a shot at working out.
Because if you’re going to be investing yourself in a relationship with a person you have no shot of being with, you are only going to end up wasting a lot of your time; and you will be setting yourself up for eventual disappointment. So how do you know if you’re really not meant to be the person that you’re currently dating? Well, there are a few signs that you could keep an eye out for. You have to be vigilant to make sure that your heart won’t get hurt in the process. Here are some signs that you’re just not meant to be together.
1. Most of your time in the relationship is spent trying to make the most out of a bad situation.
While relationships were never designed to be constant smooth sails, you know that something is wrong if you’re constantly having to deal with rough waters. It shouldn’t ALWAYS have to be so difficult.
2. You don’t really have a solid friendship going on.
At the base of any real romantic relationship should be a solid friendship. You need to have a strong friendly dynamic going on with your partner if you really think your love is going to last.
3. Your love for one another is more pragmatic than it is emotional.
Whenever anyone asks you why you’re with your partner, you start enumerating a list of practical reasons why it’s logical for you to be in love with one another. But love doesn’t always have to be logical. Real love doesn’t really need lots of reasons.
4. You still think there are some things about your partner that you can change.
Love is also about acceptance and respect. You have to be able to accept the parts of your partner’s personality that make them who they are regardless of whether you like them or not. That’s a huge part of what love really means.